Several law enforcement officials have said to me that what often makes their jobs so easy is that many criminals are several forks short of a kitchen utensil drawer.   With that in mind, we bring you the story of Kolar Rahman Anees Ur Rahman, who, if the criminal complaint is to be believed, was pretty stupid.  But maybe not.  You decide.

Mr. Rahman is an Indian national living in the UAE who just received five years probation in connection with a scheme to ship sniper rifles to Belarus. After an associate of Rahman’s contacted a gun manufacturer in the United States with a request to buy guns for Belarus, a federal undercover agent got in contact with Rahman in the UAE to continue the purchase negotiations. The undercover (or UCA in fedspeak) lured Rahman to Chicago, which was Rahman’s second mistake, the first of course having been trying to ship rifles from the US to Belarus in the first place.

Now what follows as described in the criminal complaint is astonishing, if true:

The UCA reminded RAHMAN that all of the .308 Caliber sniper rifles are export controlled in the U.S. by ITAR and could not be exported to certain countries without a license. The UCA reminded RAHMAN, due to the policy of denial in place by the U.S. government against Belarus, that it was not possible to obtain the required export licenses needed to legally export the .308 Caliber sniper rifles. The UCA explained that in order to export the firearms, they would need to make misrepresentations on the paperwork as to where the rifles would be shipped. RAHMAN informed the UCA he understood and still wanted to continue with their business transaction. The UCA informed RAHMAN he wanted to make sure RAHMAN understood the risks and that they would both go to jail if they were caught illegally exporting the rifles and ammunition. RAHMAN informed the UCA he understood the risk and that he desired to complete their business transaction as planned.

Seriously? This lengthy lecture on the law didn’t set off alarm bells, warning signals, blaring sirens, flashing lights and abject fear in Rahman? What real criminal ever gives a lengthy lecture to his associates about criminal law before embarking on the planned conduct? “Hey, Rufus, ya know robbing banks is illegal, right? And if we carry guns the penalty is increased to 30 to life? If we do this, we can both go to jail for at least thirty years or more. You know that, right? Speak up. I can’t hear ya. Okay, so you are absolutely, positively certain without any equivocation that you still want to rob this bank and you’re doing so of your own free will even though you might wind up in jail for a very long time? Don’t nod, Rufus, I need to hear you say yes.”

The UCA, if he in fact said all this, was making sure he could establish the necessary criminal intent for an export violation. This is critical where an Indian national living in the UAE might not know the ins and outs of U.S. export laws or about the U.S. arms embargo on Belarus. (I bet even a bunch of Americans don’t know about the Belarus embargo.) But you have to wonder why Rahman when (and if) he got this five-minute spiel on U.S. law didn’t run out the door of the hotel room in Chicago and hop on the next flight back to the UAE.

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